we've all been there. not being able to sleep because of something coming up in the future, ruminating about the past, or just worrying habitually without knowing specifically why. but if you're here it means you're aware of that and you're ready to deal with it.
first thing's first: understand that sometimes, a little bit of stress is important.
the second you get over the resistance to feeling stress, you'll start to understand how to deal with it. avoiding it won't help, facing it will. become aware of it so that you can reach a point where you know how to manage it. I'm going to share a few tips of mine that have helped me out over the years when I feel like things are so out of control when in reality it's all in my head.
write. it. down.
if you're going to apply one tip from this post to your life, let it be this one. writing things down helps you visualize everything that you're worrying about so that you get a slight feeling of relief because you don't have to bottle it all in your head. when I was moving houses a few years ago, there happened to also be a dozen other huge life changes, events, and errands that I had to deal with on top of that. so, at one point I genuinely had no idea where to start. the one thing that helped was writing down everything that was going on at that moment, and everything that I was thinking of about the future. yes, it was a mess of words, bullet points, arrows, and scribbles, but it felt like taking a deep breath - because it was like I could actually look at my thoughts.
doing that, you'll be able to tackle one point at a time and your mind gets a break from trying to hold everything inside. there are also studies about how writing things out physically, using a pen and paper, has huge benefits, apart from just stress management.
2. do something fun
counter-productive? yea, I thought so too. until I actually decided to just spend 20 minutes one day doing something as simple as reading, painting, or cleaning my room to make me feel like I actually did something that would release enough hormones to would make me feel better. if you feel like a sad couch potato because there's so much going on and you don't know what to deal with first, doing a simple activity away from electronics can ease your mind and help you think more clearly.
3. the Eisenhower Decision Matrix
take a minute, grab a pen and paper, and write down everything you need to do. small to-do's, big projects, errands - it can be anything. if you look at your to-do list and realize it's overwhelmingly long, this decision matrix will take away the decision-making stress that comes along with trying to figure out what task to start with amidst all the stress.
it's divided into 4 categories: important and not important, urgent and not urgent.
you can see an example of it below, but it's basically how you can check off your to-do's without the stressful feeling that you should be doing something else. simply because, it's literally a way to categorize the things that are most important and should be done first.
in the important and urgent category would be things like big projects due in a couple of days, whereas not important, not urgent tasks can include admin tasks like checking emails that you can do when you're feeling low-energy and can do at any point in the day. you can divide your to-do's relative to your schedule, so it's totally customizable and takes me about 4 seconds to set up.
4. drink water
yea, you're probably dehydrated. you need water to think straight. here's your reminder.
5. 'sigh breathing'
Andrew Huberman talks about this to a great level of detail in his podcast, "The Huberman Lab', which is one of my favorites mentioned in my previous blog post. In his episode, "Master Stress: Tools for Managing Stress and Anxiety", he goes into detail about 'physiological breathing' which I highly recommend you listen to. in summary, it's a way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is a system of nerves responsible for relaxing your body. you can practice 'sigh breathing' by doing two inhales, followed by one long exhale. you can watch this 2-minute video by Dr. Huberman for a more in-depth explanation. activating your parasympathetic nervous system results in a reduced feeling of stress, including physical changes in your body like your heart rate lowering.
6. limit caffeine
while sometimes caffeine can help at times, increased intake can seriously impact anxiety, stress, and jitteriness. personally, I limit myself to one cup of coffee a day, making sure it's before noon so it doesn't impact my sleep. certain coffee beans have a stronger effect on stress levels and heart rate, so cutting it out completely might not be the solution, especially because there can be positives to it. the level of caffeine varies between sources, so opting for something decaf or naturally lower in caffeine can help lower your habitual stress. that way, you can still reach an optimal level of energy while maintaining a healthy mental state.
7. leave social media behind
social media is one of the main causes of stress and anxiety nowadays, because of not only how fast-paced and hyperstimulating it is, but also because it involves looking at the lives of everyone else. we subconsciously fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to everyone online, and that's part of your day that is not going to help you progress in life. take a break from it because, at the end of the day, social media will do more harm than good or your stress levels unless you're fully aware of how you're navigating it.
8. pray
wherever you are, regardless of how much or little time you have, this is something you can always do. just a single moment to think about how God is in control of absolutely everything can be enough to remind you that everything will work and you'll be okay. as long as you're trying, things will ultimately go the way they're meant to be, whether or not it may seem like that at the moment. you'll start to regain a sense of gratitude for what's in your life, and that alone can do so much. put your faith in God, and trust that whatever the outcome, there's a reason for it.
the takeaway:
some of these tips are easier said than done, I know. but try them whenever you can. take things one day at a time. if you're trying you're best that's already enough. you can't control what happens but you can control the way you handle your thoughts and situations.
if you can check one thing off your to-do list today, even if that's just making your bed or drinking enough water, that's one step in the right direction to taking that feeling of stress and lowering it enough to regain control over your thoughts.
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